I really tried to come up with some funny stuff. But I was beat to the punch by a HE. He said HE and his SHE have a Shaggin' Wagon, but they cannot share the video. How could I possibly top that?!? That's good comedy.
But I refused to give up, so I spent the last 12 hours thinking about it. And guess what? Nothing.
I did keep coming back to thinking about what kind of car I would drive if money and technology were limitless. I figure I better start putting forth these ideas so some 12 year old working out of their basement could invent some of these things. I'm years out from actually being able to buy one of these cars so the timing will be perfect!
The Coup d'SHE
- A one-seater. No one else is allowed to ride in my car except for me. It will have a secret jump seat for my female companions for occasions such as clothes shopping, antiquing, or Thelma and Louise reenactments. It will not be visible to men or children.
- A UV-shield. I definitely want a convertible, but I now shun the sun (even though I am aware that all of my wrinkles were caused by my baby oil-tanning regimen earlier in my life...I just don't want any more to appear 20 years from now). If there could be some sort of laser shield that allowed for open-air driving without UV exposure, I'd be happy.
- Smells like anything but 'icky milk'. Anyone that has left a container of milk in their car for a few days knows what I'm talking about. I would rather smell gym equipment or dirty laundry in my car. Lavender or jasmine would be preferred, but anything, anything but icky milk.
- Air ducts that are directed to the steering wheel for drying a manicure. Seriously, this should be standard in today's cars.
- Beverage insulation system. I may nurse a coffee or tea for hours. If you could kindly keep it hot/cold, would greatly appreciate it.
- Pedal re-design to accommodate heels. Really, it's hard to drive in even a kitten heel! There should be a hole or flexible material to allow for heels of all heights. This is solely for safety. My safety and the safety of every SHE's ankles out there.
And all of this should be available at a discount for anyone that's had to drive a minivan, swagger wagon, shagging wagon, or whatever you call it for more than 3 years. Peace out.