Monday, June 14, 2010

Chef Thinks Ronald McDonald Smells Like Poo

I am way too busy to be blogging today.  I've got a HUGE, COLLOSAL, GIGANTOR project due on Friday...a big paper on protein (will blog on that later).  I even spent most of the day Sunday working on it, which would have gone a bit more smoothly had I not had 2 margaritas the night before. 

But a SHE friend sent me this article about Anthony Bourdain's mission to convince his 2.5 yr old daughter that McDonald's is the enemy.  Now I say "Anthony Bourdain" like I know who he is, but I really don't.  The article says he's a chef, which is probably why I don't know him.  I'm far too busy watching E! to turn on the Food channel.

Anyway, if you have about 3 hours, you should read the article.  It's really long.  If I'm going to read something that long, there better be a vampire baby in the end.  I did make it through the first 5,000 words and had to laugh out loud at this part as he describes his approach with his daughter:

"Ronald smells bad," I say every time he shows up on television or [on a sign] out of the car window. "Kind of like... poo!

This may work to deter a 2.5 year old girl from eating at McDonalds, but it sure as heck doesn't work on any kids over the age of 6.  In fact, I bet my kids would want McDonald's more often if I said that Ronald smells like poo.  Granted, I have not tested out my hypothesis yet.  However, given that my kids have been playing with something called Flarp for the past 12 hours straight, I feel pretty confident.  If you are not familiar with Flarp, it is a goopy, slime-like substance that makes sounds of a tooting nature.  They just think it's funny.  I don't get it, but am happy that they find it so enjoyable.  (Just don't be talking on the phone when they're playing with this behind you.)

Here is how I handle my kids' requests to go do McDonalds:

Kids, "Hey mom, can we get a happy meal on our way home?"

Me, "No"

That may be harsh and old fashioned, but it is quite effective.  Maybe I could trade Anthony a few chef-prepared meals for this sage advice?   I'll even throw in a few tubs of Flarp.  Call me Anthony!


  1. I personally wouldn't want to live in a world where Ronald smelled like poo and beer tasted like urine - yuck! As a parent, his methods will backfire when the child actually tries the salty fat fried food and their taste buds explode in ecstasy. The entire parent child relationship will be at risk... Have to go now, flarp issues...

  2. I've always referred to the above character as "The Evil Clown" I'm pretty sure my kids don't know his real name.

  3. I have solved this problem in a fairly easy way. I allowed my children to dine at McDonalds and after each visit, pointed out the fact that 1)they feel awful, and 2)ALWAYS have to RUN for the bathroom because their bodies need to flush out that food as quickly as possible. It has worked quite well and they no longer ask to go to McDonalds and are quite vocal about expressing their opinion on how that food is garbage.